Week 10

10 weeks down since restarting and I’ve made an appointment to see my doctor in a couple of weeks to fess up about falling off the wagon back in April and to have a check up, blood tests and get some scripts filled. I’ve also been busily pedaling away on my mini cycle machine for around 45 to 50 minutes 3 times a day. I wonder how many kilometers I’ve clocked up doing that? It was Fathers Day here in Australia yesterday so I hope any fathers reading this had a good day. My kids are blessed with having their real dad, who sadly lives in another state and due to Covid 19 my kids have not been able to go and visit him, instead relying on phone calls. He’s clueless about computers so doesn’t have Facebook or anything like that to keep in contact with them. My partner Paul, is their ‘dad’ as well and has been wonderful with Tara and Mitch, always there to help them when they need it and he considers them ‘his children’ too.

Another good week this week with a loss of 1.1 kilos. I’m still in the process of losing the weight I regained and it’s taking a while, but like I keep saying the main thing is the numbers are dropping albeit slowly.

I found an article about weight loss plateaus that I thought I’d post on here, mainly so that I can read it for when I have weeks go by with the scales not budging.

What to do when weight loss stops?

You’ve worked hard to lose weight by following through on your weight loss meal plan and keeping up with your exercise routine. To begin, your weekly weigh-ins have become a time of celebration, which strengthens your drive and motivation to continue your weight loss journey. But what happens when the scales suddenly refuse to budge? You have likely hit the dreaded weight loss plateau. This can be disheartening, as you likely feel your weekly efforts outweigh the results.   

What is a weight loss plateau?

A weight loss plateau is when a person stops losing weight, despite following a diet and fitness regimen for a considerable amount of time. A weight-loss plateau can happen to anyone trying to lose weight and can be extremely frustrating given the amount of effort that has gone into sticking to a weight loss plan. 

What causes a weight loss plateau?

It is quite common to see consistent weight loss results in the initial weeks and months of starting your weight loss journey. If you notice a plateau in your weekly weigh-in, consider if the below factors could be contributing to this change.

Unrealistic expectations

To put it simply, if you are keeping to the same weight loss plan every week, expecting consistent weight loss results is not realistic. Quite often, the weight loss happens faster initially and declines over time, as naturally you are more likely to lose less weight as you get lighter.

Following the same routine

Sometimes following the same weight loss meal plan or exercise routine can also contribute to a weight loss plateau. If this happens, consult your dietitian to adjust your meal plan to suit your new weight loss objectives based on your current weight. You could also consider increasing your weekly exercise by joining a fitness program.

Treating yourself too often

At the start of your weight loss journey, you are motivated and very strict with your diet. But as the weeks tick over, you may find yourself reaching for a few too many ‘pick me up’ or ‘I deserve this’ snacks. While a few snacks here and there may seem harmless at the beginning, over time as the occasional treat evolves into a daily bad habit, your weight loss results may plateau. To stay on track with your meal plan, try keeping a food diary to record your daily food and beverage intake. This is a great way to keep accountable and reflect on improvements that could be made to your meal plan.

Having the weekend off

If you’re a social person, you may be doing well sticking to your plan during the week but become more laxed on weekends. But your weekend eating could be the thing that affects your weight loss and helps keep it off over the long run. Try making healthy choices and sticking to your plan over the weekend.

High-calorie beverages

Sometimes it’s not your food intake but your drinks. Stick to water for your fluid intake. Consider having some herbal teas or fruity teas that are available in supermarkets. Alcohol can be high in calories and often if you are drinking alcohol you might find yourself snacking on high calorie nibbles without realising it. You can also have a little sugar free cordial or the occasional sugar free soft drink but try to only have these occasionally as the artificial sweeteners can have a laxative effect.

Lack of exercise

Exercise helps burn calories, but the right training can also help build or preserve muscle mass that may benefit your metabolism and help you maintain weight later.

Other health conditions

If you have been facing a weight loss plateau and have not been able to drop weight even after having experimented with meals and exercise routines, it is important to consult your doctor. Sometimes hormonal imbalances or medications can get in the way of weight loss. Other conditions that can affect your weight loss include irregular bowel movements, menstruation and fluid retention.

If your weight loss plateau is just a day or week old, hold on tight and be patient. You should not expect to see a weight loss result every week.

Anyways, that’s it for this week. Thanks again for reading.

Week 9 Weigh In Day

I don’t like the new layout of WordPress one single bit. It has taken me 60 minutes to figure out how to add an image to my post and I just hope I remember how to do so next time I create a new entry.

That’s interesting…..

I didn’t post last week as I didn’t lose any weight, but on the plus side of things, I didn’t gain any weight either. So that’s a positive I guess. This will be a very short blog entry as nothing much has happened since my last post and I’m fed up with this WordPress new layout.

I still have a way to go to get back to my pre falling off the wagon weight which is a bummer.

Anyways, my weight loss this week was 1.7kg and that brings my total loss since June 29th to 18.3kg.

The weather has been lovely here in Brisbane, spring is definitely in the air. Apologies for such a boring entry but I’m about to throw the computer out the window after battling with WordPress for so long. Have a great week folks!

7 week weigh in day.

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I was thinking back to how many times I’ve tried to lose weight over the years. And how much money I’ve spent on different weight loss products and treatment. When I was a teenager there was an ad in a magazine all about a product that would magically melt off the pounds (that’s how old I am, weight was measured in pounds and stones back in the olden days) simply by adding the product into your bathwater and soaking in it. I was so excited to read this ad! There was one lady who had written a review claiming that after using this product for 6 weeks she’d lost nine and a half kilos! Just by taking baths!

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If that’s all there was to losing weight then that’s my solution! An answer to my prayers. So I asked mum if I could have the money to buy some of this magic stuff. Alas, she said no. Still determined I wrote to the company asking them if they could send me a sample. I’m still waiting for them to reply.

I then tried the amazing Israeli Army diet that was all the rage in the 70’s. I figured that if it was good enough for the Israeli Army then it was good enough for me. When I read about it in a magazine I thought it sounded so easy. I didn’t have to write off and ask for any samples, I could just do it by buying what I  needed from the supermarket. And if it was in the Australian Women’s Weekly then it had to be a good diet right? I mean, they wouldn’t have it in their magazine if it didn’t work for people.

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Well I was wrong. After one day of apples I was sick of the sight of them. I wasn’t a big cheese eater so the next 2 days were even tougher. I felt like a mouse, constantly gnawing away on a piece of cheese.  The chicken days were a bit easier as were the salads, but I was heartily sick and tired of the whole diet by that stage. I gave up. No way could I go through another week of  such restricted foods. Did I lose anything? Yep, my mind. 

I went to Weight Watchers for a while, back in the days when you had to eat liver at least once a week. While I did lose some weight I got sick and tired of trying to force liver down my throat and so gave up on that too.  It didn’t take long for that weight to come back on.

I then heard about hypnotherapy and acupuncture so found a doctor that did both. He inserted this small metal thing in my ear and supposedly when I felt hungry I was supposed to rub my ear where this thing was and my cravings would go away.  The hypnotherapy was me relaxing on a lounge with my feet up as the doctor spoke quietly, telling me that I’d not want to indulge in fattening foods anymore, that I’d be able to resist all those temptations around me and only want to eat healthy foods.  As soon as I was ‘woken up’ I left the surgery and went to the nearest take away shop.  That happened the following week after my appointment as well.  In the end the only weight I lost was money from my purse.  And I gained a sore ear from all the rubbing I did around that metal thing. 

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I had gastric stapling in 1985 when I weighed 130 kilos. I did lose some weight but used to vomit a heck of a lot if I tried eating things like meat. After one mouthful I’d get really full which meant I ended up eating things like ice cream, custard, chocolate, all things that would go down easily but of course would end up as excess kilos on my body.  And over the years I guess that pouch/bit of stomach where the staples were stretched so I’m now able to eat normal size portions again and of course over the years my weight ballooned to the point where I was virtually housebound like someone on My 600lb Life.  As a former Registered Nurse I was well aware of the dangers of being so morbidly obese and should have done something about my weight sooner, but I kept putting it off, day after day, week after week, month after month. It was a health scare in late October 2018 that made me realise I would probably die from some weight related condition if I didn’t do something and do it NOW!

I had been advised to use Optifast years ago during a hospital admission, but didn’t heed the doctors advice as I thought shakes were generally blah! I’d tried other brands of diet shakes in the past, Optislim, Tony Ferguson, Aldi  Slim and Trim and another one I can’t remember. I can’t say I liked any of them and to me Optifast was too expensive.  However  in  2018 I was  actually more scared for my long term survival and sick of being housebound so decided that I had to do something and do it NOW! So Optifast it was and here I am. Right now I’m still trying to catch up to where I was in early April of this year after losing just over 100 kilos on Optifast. And again it was a struggle to get back on track with my usual excuses of ‘next week I’ll start’.  Not weighing myself was probably the catalyst behind me regaining 35.5kg of that weight. I was scared of what I’d see when standing on the scales.  When I saw my dietician last Thursday she told me that ignoring the scales for such a long time was probably not a good thing, as well as my cancelling my appointments with her. I kept rescheduling them because I was so ashamed of what I’d been doing with eating so much of the wrong foods. Lesson learned. I also need to focus on eating mindfully, not  watching TV or reading while eating, not eating in bed or sitting on the lounge, only eating at the table without any distractions. That’s going to be tough to change as those are the things I do and have done for many years. Even now, while having an Optifast shake, I sip it while watching TV.

This week saw another loss, not a big number, but 1.1 kilograms, bringing my total loss since starting on June 29th to 16.6 kilograms. I’m happy with that, the numbers keep dropping and that’s the main thing.

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So that’s it for this week. As always, thank you for reading.

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Still hanging in there.

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Well it’s been 6 weeks now since I restarted on Optifast  and I have managed to stay right on track the whole time. Usually before the end of week 1 I am having a biscuit here or there, and still enjoying my cup of tea with ‘real’ milk and sugars. Because everybody knows that the sugar in tea dissolves so you really don’t count those calories do you? And the milk…..well it’s really only a splash so that doesn’t count either.  And of course there’d be a weekly treat, usually on weigh in day. Take away food, a chocolate bar, cappuccino and cake at a cafe. ‘Why not?’ I used to think. ‘I’ve been so good all week, surely I deserve a little reward?’ Trouble is that reward often meant that I’d continue eating the wrong foods for the rest of that day thinking that I had 6 more days before weighing in again and I’d have plenty of time to focus on the diet………….starting again tomorrow.  That mindset would work for a while but before I’d know it I would be back to eating more and more of the wrong foods. Weigh in days would be dreaded, and when I weighed in at the weight loss club I was going to I’d react with horror if the scales didn’t show a loss, or worse still, showed a gain. “I don’t know why that happened!” I’d exclaim. “I’ve been so good.” (Liar!!!) Followed by the usual excuses:

“Must be water retention.” (Yeah sure, enough water to fill a bathtub.)

“Must be that time of the month.” (Be honest woman, ‘that time of the month’ hasn’t happened for years now, that excuse is old hat.)

“Must be the salt I’ve added to my foods this week.” (As in salted potato chips by the bagful.)

“I only had a few treats, surely not enough to gain this much!” (By a few treats I’d mean chocolate bars in the evening, sweet biscuits with my sugared cups of tea with whole milk, take away lunches from Maccas.)

“Maybe I had too much dairy products?” (Yeah that bowlful of Streets Blue Ribbon vanilla ice cream might have not helped, especially when it was an evening treat 3 or 4 times that week. Hey, it did say ‘Light’ icecream so surely anything ‘Light/Lite’ has to be good for you and not make you gain weight right?

“Surely it wasn’t the fish I ate last night?” (Battered fish from the fish and chip shop plus a serve of chips and potato scallop or two. But hey, the scallops were made from potato and potato is a vegetable, right?)

You get the idea.  One of my favourite authors is the late Erma Bombeck. She wrote some hilarious books on motherhood and life in general.  Her experiences with dieting and diet clubs always made me laugh, and still do. Below is what she had to say about weigh in days.

“I have dieted continuously for the last two decades and lost a total of 758 pounds. By all calculations, I should be hanging from a charm bracelet.

I have done a lot of kidding around with Weight Watchers, but it is the only organization in which I ever lost a great deal of weight. But I fought them. Every Tuesday morning, a group of us had to “weigh in” before the lecture. Our ritual was enough to boggle the imagination. We got together a check list of precautions before we actually stepped on the scale.

Bathroom? Check. Water pill? Check. Have you removed underwear, wedding rings, nail polish? Check. Set aside shoes and earrings? Check. Are you wearing a summer dress beneath your winter coat? Check.

The first week I stepped on the scale and my instructor said, “You have gained.” (Next week, I cut my hair.)

The next week, she said, “You have lost eight ounces, but that is not enough.” (I had the fillings in my teeth removed.)

The third week, I had dropped a pound, but my instructor was still not pleased. (I had my tonsils taken out.)

Finally, she really chewed me out. She accused me of not sticking to the diet and not taking it seriously. That hurt.

“I didn’t want to tell you,” I said, “but I think I am pregnant.”

“How far?” she said coldly, clicking her ballpoint pen to make a notation on my card.

“Possibly three days,” I said.

She glowered. “Any other excuses?”

“Would you believe I have a cold and my head is swollen?”

“No.”

“How about I was celebrating the Buzzard’s Return to Hinkley, Ohio, and had butter on my popcorn?”

She tapped her pen impatiently on the card and stared at me silently.

“Lint in the navel?” I offered feebly.

“How about first one at the trough?” she asked dryly.

I learned quickly never to argue with a woman who had the scales on her side.

I saw my old instructor the other day and she eyed me carefully and said, “When are you returning to class?”

“As soon as I have my appendix removed,” I said returning her gaze.

I’m not sure, but I think I heard her moan.”

~ by Erma Bombeck

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Weighing in this morning was rather challenging. Max the Ragdoll kitty was determined to join me on the scales. Everytime I picked him up to relocate him he’d come back and miaow loudly, wrapping himself around my feet as I stood on the scales. Eventually I managed to distract him with a cardboard box so while he was exploring that I was able to weigh myself with no extra ‘fluff’ weight to add to my results. I was pleased to have lost another 1.5kg this week bringing my total loss since 29th June to 15.5kg.  I have my dietician appointment on Thursday morning. I’ve already emailed her and confessed to falling off the wagon. 

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So that’s about it for this week. Thanks again for reading.

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Hanging in there.

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What a terrible year 2020 has turned out to be . Bushfires, then coronavirus. It’s enough to make anyone depressed and want to turn to food for comfort. No wonder there’s so many jokes about weight gain while in lockdown.  I think that was what probably triggered my downfall in early April, even though my life didn’t really change as I wasn’t one for going out anywhere unless it was to do the shopping etc.  My partner did lose money though as his courier job was impacted by covid 19. The courier company he works for lost a lot of customers, so less work meant less $$ coming in. 

Being in Queensland we are lucky, not like the poor folks in Melbourne and Victoria in general who are now facing strict lock downs among everything else. I think most of us would prefer to just skip the rest of 2020 and start afresh with 2021. Who knows though, when life will return to ‘normal’ again.

Anyways, despite getting depressed when watching the news every night I managed to stick to my diet again this week. My partner had some custard tarts in the fridge, actually they are still there, and I’d so much love to have one but I’ve stayed strong. I didn’t have a huge loss, but 1.3 kilograms is still a decent loss. I’m still a work in progress as far as losing the weight I’d regained during my weeks off the program, and obviously it’s not going to come off as fast as it came on.

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I was looking back at my old blog posts and found this entry from early in 2019. It was about my weight loss journey.   Funny how it’s always about ‘the journey’ when it comes to weight loss. Like you’re packing your bags and heading off on a trip to some exotic location.
Every reality TV show I’ve seen over the past few years speaks of a ‘journey’.
Whether it’s about finding a husband or wife, surviving in a jungle, getting a singing contract, appearing on MKR or a weight loss show, it’s a journey.

For weight loss it’s not about actually packing a real life suitcase, jumping on a plane and flying off into the wild, blue yonder only to return minus those extra kgs. It would be great if it was that easy. Hey I’d even fly Tiger Air to outer Mongolia if I returned home minus 100 plus kilos. Somehow though I’d have more chance of losing my luggage than coming back 100kg lighter.

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It is a journey though. It’s a journey to find a healthier, happier, slimmer version of ourselves. We pack up our bags. In them go the junk food we enjoyed. The high fat, high kilojoule foods we’d scoff down. The bad choices we used to make. The low self esteem we had because of our weight. The “I’ll start my diet next week” promises we’d make to ourselves. Boy, do I ever know that one! At the start of  2018I wrote a note to myself on a magnetic whiteboard on our fridge. It said “Start diet next week. Get healthy. Get to drive car again.”  11 months later that note was still there, very faded. ‘Next week’ didn’t come, not to me. Not till November 12th 2018 when I weighed a staggering 229.3kg. That number is etched in my memory even now.
We pack our bags with the different things that made us overweight and set off on our own journey. Hopefully that suitcase, filled with all those ‘bad’ things will get lost, just like on a real Tiger Air flight. Never to return.

So here we all are. Each of us on our own journey. Some don’t have so far to go, others, specifically myself, have a journey as long as the distance to the moon and back. Hey, now the moon would be great! Everything is so much lighter up there. No gravity to keep me grounded. I could jump, leap, cavort and dance around there like a sugar plum fairy!
However I don’t live on the moon. I’m here on earth with the rest of you guys, very much stuck on terra firma due to gravity and my body weight. No way can I leap, dance, jump or cavort here. I’m flat out getting up out of my chair. If I was to attempt jumping and leaping 3 things would happen.
● The floor would give way. Or I’d fall flat on my back and break my hip and the fire brigade would have to come out with the ambos to break the front doorway down to get me out. I’d have to wait for a bariatric ambulance to transfer me to hospital. Meanwhile the neighbours and local press would be there recording my humiliation.
● I’d cause an earthquake. At least a 8 pointer on the Richter scale. Brisbane would never know what hit it. I’d probably create an Aussie version of the San Andreas fault line right here in Queensland.
● As a result of that earthquake there’d be a tsunami. Bigger than one I’d cause trying to have a bath here at home. (Not that I’d dare attempt that! See 1st point.) A massive wall of water probably heading straight for New Zealand. Sorry Kiwi group members. 🙁🙁
Okay, scratch living on the moon.

Now where was I? Oh yes, our Optifast journey to get rid of that unwanted baggage aka weight. Our journey to change our way of eating and how we look at food. We want to be able to throw all our ‘fat clothes’ in that suitcase and rejoice when they are lost. Me? I plan to donate mine to the local parachute factory. I can just picture the SAS forces jumping out of a plane above enemy territory, ready for a surprise attack to destroy the enemies weapons factory. Come time to deploy their chutes, they pull the ripcord! Whoosh! The shutes open and the sky is filled with my 7XL floral underpants gently floating in the air as the SAS troops fall towards earth. Imagine that! No need for guns or chemical weapons, the enemy would die laughing. 😂😂

So here we are. Sharing our successes and our not so good results. Each of us on our own journey. Some of us will arrive sooner, for others like myself it’s going to take much longer. Perseverance and determination will get us there.

It was good to read that post more than a year after I wrote it.

Thanks again for reading. Take care and stay safe.

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Week 4

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And so another week ends and another weigh in day arrives.  Another good week as far as sticking to the program although it was so hard when I did the shopping to see apple turnovers with fresh cream was on special at Woolworths. OMG I would have loved to buy one. It was bloody hard resisting it but I ignored the urge and continued to the fruit and vege section to buy vegetables. No matter how you prepare or cook them they just can’t compare with an apple turnover though. Then I went to the lolly aisle to buy my sugar free chewing gum and had to walk past the chocolate bars that were on special. Agghhhh!  I kept telling myself that those were the things that contributed to me being obese in the first place and that to succumb now could undo the work of the last few weeks. Came home and had my coffee shake instead.

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I lost 1.3kg this week, and while I’m happy to have lost weight I think I need to get back into some gentle exercise, like using my mini cycle machine.  That might help with losing more weight. I’ve also been having 2 or 3 hot drinks per day with the allowed lite milk. I’d been under the impression that we could only have skim milk on Optifast intensive, but an Optifast dietician on the support group said that lite milk was allowed in 30ml serves added to hot drinks to a maximum of 3 cups a day. I feel that having that 30mls of lite milk has contributed to my calories for the day, and possibly had a slight impact on my weight loss, so now I’m going to try to limit those hot drinks and milk consumption. I’ve also been having too much sugar free gum. Even though they have minimal calories I have been having much more than the recommended intake each day. Another lesson learned. 

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My monthly loss tracker is looking rather sad with those missing months, and seeing how backwards I’ve gone is pretty disheartening. I keep telling myself that at least I’m back on track again but when I think of how much lighter I would have been had I stayed on track I could kick myself for not getting back to it sooner.

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I’ve definitely made sure to keep my water consumption to a minimum of 2 and a half litres per day. Drinking water helps curb hunger and gives me a workout in frequent trips to the toilet. It’s like ‘get out of my way’ as I try to make my way to the loo and avoiding the dog and cats. Max the Ragdoll especially loves to stretch out in the middle of the hallway just when I’m trying to move at warp speed to empty my bladder. I have learned that water consumption is important for losing weight for various reasons.  

  • Doctors have found that people often mistake thirst for hunger. When their body is sending the “thirsty” signal, they think that they are hungry and reach for a snack instead of a drink. If you want to take control of your eating habits, try drinking a glass of water every time you want to eat a snack, and you will find that the water often satisfies your needs. Remember light to clear urine will indicate you are hydrated.
  • Additionally, water is important for every cell in your body. It impacts your energy levels, digestion, and nutrient absorption. If you aren’t getting enough water, then your digestive system might slow down, and it could result in reduced energy levels. Constipation is another result of insufficient water intake.
  • Drinking cold water, especially icy cold water will help you to burn up to 400 extra kilojoules per day for every 2L of water you drink, which the equivalent of an extra snack every single day.

I have looked back at my old blog posts to reinforce why I’m doing this and been reminded of many embarrassing moments.

  • Going to see the War Memorial in Canberra and having to be pushed around in a wheelchair because I was so overweight that I couldn’t walk any more than a few metres. My poor partner was struggling at times, especially when going up ramps. Plus the wheelchair loaned out by the staff was not built for someone of my width. I was squeezed in like toothpaste in a tube of toothpaste.
  • Attending my daughters wedding in March 2016 wearing a dress that did not flatter my huge body, and not being able to walk around at the reception and chat to the guests. Instead I sat in a chair, my legs and feet swollen in the heat and humidity and just watched everyone having fun and dancing to the music. I’m a Nutbush City Limits lover and it just broke my heart watching my daughter and the other guests doing the Nutbush while I sat by watching.
  • Our bed breaking due to my weight when I was over 220kg. It literally snapped on my side and we had to buy a new bed. When it was set up my partner reinforced it with extra brackets and bolts, and even bricks propped up underneath the timber beams at the top and side so that I didn’t break that one as well.
  • A chair with metal legs collapsing underneath me one day and I lay on the floor unable to get up, calling out for my partner to assist. Of course I couldn’t expect him to lift me but asked for him to grab a small step ladder so that I could grab that and try to ease myself up. It took me all of 5 minutes to get my body upright again.
  • The time we were visiting his aunt and I was sitting in a lounge chair that was so low I couldn’t stand up when it was time to leave. My partner and his cousin had to grab an arm each so that I could ease myself up to a standing position again.
  • Visiting a work colleague at her home many years ago now and sitting on one of those plastic chairs and ending up on the floor when a leg snapped. OMG, I wished then that the earth would open up and swallow me.
  • Going to the doctors and not even fitting in the chairs in her office as they had arms. I’d have to perch on the end as I couldn’t fit my body between the armrests.

Reminding myself of all that helps keep me focused and on track. I can now fit in chairs that have arms, I no longer struggle to get up from low seats. While I am still wearing clothes of a plus size at least now I don’t have to buy them from specialist stores like Dale and Waters or have a dressmaker make them in a size 34. 

Life can only get better for me and it is doing that with every kilo I lose.

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Another good week.

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I had a good week again this week. Managed to stay on track despite the temptations in the house. I keep reminding myself of what my life was like when I weighed 229.3 kilos. At age 60 my life revolved around food. I couldn’t fit behind the steering wheel of our car, I couldn’t do the grocery shopping because I couldn’t drive and just pushing a trolley around the supermarket left me winded and having to stop every couple of aisles to catch my breath.
Basic hygiene was a problem much to my disgust, and just having a shower was exhausting. I’d have to rest halfway through, leaning against the tiled wall of our shower recess, waiting for my heartbeat to slow down and to catch my breath. To dry myself off I’d have to sit down on a chair. I remember the humiliation I felt when one day the chair on which I was sitting gave way, one of the chair legs actually breaking. And another time I was sitting on a low lounge while visiting my partners aunt and the lounge was so low I couldn’t get up. My partner and his cousin had to help lift me so I could get up. I truly wished that the earth would have opened up and swallowed me that day, I was so embarrassed.
Housework? I couldn’t even do that. My poor partner would work during the week and do the grocery shopping and housework on his days off. To cook dinner I’d have to sit on a chair in the kitchen. My clothes had to be specially made as I was in a size 34 then. My underpants came from the local parachute factory…..well maybe not, but they could have been used as a parachute. I had visions of the SAS dropping out of a plane and floating to earth below a pair of my bloomers. The enemy wouldn’t have needed shooting, they’d have died laughing at the sight of the SAS gently descending with my floral undies drifting in the breeze.
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Doing up my shoelaces…..nope, I couldn’t reach my toes. Even cutting my toenails was beyond me. To sleep I’d have to be propped up on pillows and sleep sitting upright because as soon as I lay flat or on my side my huge stomach made it difficult to breathe.
My life at that point in time was the four walls in which I lived and my lounge chair and my bed. My only contact to the outside world was through Facebook. I was the person who used to share funny jokes or images, who never wrote of the depressing life I lived and who never shared my struggles with anybody. Even my partner wasn’t to know how unhappy I was, because I’d put on a brave and cheerful face to him. The only time I left the house was to be driven to the doctors. And that was my life for 3 years.
I remember joining a weight loss club and being so embarrassed to find out that their scales couldn’t weigh me as they had a limit of 150kg and I weighed more than that. When they suggested I go to the produce store down the road and get weighed on their scales I was horrified. Thankfully another set of scales was found out the back that could take my weight so I was spared the embarrassment of being weighed on the same scales as livestock feed. Unfortunately while I did lose some weight with the club I ended up failing as what I’d do on weigh in day was get weighed, attend the meeting and then go and buy junk food to eat to ‘celebrate’ my loss. ‘Just for today.’ I’d say to myself. But that one day ‘off’ turned to 2, then 3 and 4……and in the end I’d stopped going to the weight loss club as I knew I’d gained weight.
I had heard about Optifast as it had been suggested to me by a doctor when I had emergency surgery for a hernia. I’d presented to my local hospital after days of nausea, mild pain and vomiting. Turned out I had a incarcerated hernia which is when the hernia becomes twisted or caught,and urgent surgery was needed. My local hospital however saw my weight as a risk and the surgeon and anaesthetist there was reluctant to operate on me. So I was transferred to the Royal Brisbane Hospital where I was operated on that night at midnight. The surgeon told me bluntly that I might not survive due to my weight. I remember being terrified as I drifted off to sleep, wondering if I’d wake up again. Thankfully all went well, but even then I didn’t do anything about my weight!
It took another health scare in late October 2018 to make me realise that the way I was going I’d be in a pine box in no time. I decided that Optifast was the way to go. I did my research, read up about the program, looked at the list of what I could and couldn’t eat and bought the products. So on 12th November 2018 I started on intensive and I did really well till I derailed in April this year. What started off as one day off the program, turned into 2, then 3 and it just became too difficult for me to get back on track again.
And here I am again, now 3 weeks in to my 2nd attempt to lose weight. Right now I’m focusing on getting down to what I weighed before I derailed. From there I will continue to get to my next major goal, of weighing less than 100kg. The last time I weighed under 100kg was the late 80’s.
As much as I’d love to have a day off from Optifast at this stage I know that I can’t afford to do that. I need to keep telling myself of how much weight I gained in the 11 weeks I’d derailed and what a shock it was to see the amount of weight I’d put on in that time.
I weighed in this morning to find I’d lost another 2 kilograms bringing my total weight loss since 29th June to 11.4 kilograms. So I’m happy about that.
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I’m sorry about this long post, but I just wanted to let you know of my story and that having cheat days can so easily throw you off track completely. I didn’t think I would fall off the wagon as badly as I did, I thought it would be easy for me to get back on track. It wasn’t. Did I enjoy those chocolates? Did I enjoy the biscuits, cream pastries and potato chips? Yes I did. Was the few minutes of pleasure I had while eating them worth it? No, it was most definitely not.
I’m sorry if I’ve rambled on.
20thjuly

Still going strong!

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Second week into the Optifast reset challenge and I’m still going strong. It’s not been easy though and when I do the shopping I see all those tempting goodies and it would be so easy to grab them, throw them in the trolley and then gorge on them when I got home, or sneak in a pastry to eat while sitting in the car.

I was talking to a friend of mine on the phone and we are both so alike in that when we eat the wrong foods we tend to do it secretly, with a hidden stash that we have tucked away. This is something I need to address as it would be so easy to fall off the wagon again and binge eat myself back to my starting weight. At my age doing that would be a death sentence. I’m dreading my next visit with my doctor and dietician and telling them how badly I fell off the wagon, which has set me back by months. I was doing so well and I am kicking myself for not pulling myself up straight away.

Something that I noticed when I was eating myself to death by chocolate (among other things) is that at night after a day of consuming the wrong foods and the evening spent eating a shitload of chocolate (excuse the language) I’d be laying in bed trying to read and I’d feel and hear my heart beating inside my head. It was a horrible feeling, this constant thump, thump, thump going on. It even prevented me from getting to sleep gain as the minute I lay down or lay on my side that thumping seemed to get louder and more pronounced. My heartbeat wasn’t irregular, there was no pain or anything, it was just a constant thumping. To go to sleep I had to sit upright using my V pillow for extra support. Eventually I’d doze off but it would sometimes take a while. It was scary and of course when I googled (silly me) there were some unpleasant results popping up.  I was really worried and yet I continued to pig out, day after day, evening after evening. Stupid woman!!

Now that I’m no longer eating all that rubbish that ‘thumping’ in my head has stopped. I’m putting it down to the amount of caffeine I was consuming, not just in multiple cups of tea and coffee that I’d have throughout the day, but the sheer volume of chocolate that I was having every evening while watching TV in the bedroom. Perhaps the caffeine in the chocolate was causing that. I’m just relieved that it’s stopped.

Weighing in this morning  showed another drop in numbers, only 2 kilos, but hey, I’ll happily take that. In the 2 weeks of the reset challenge I’ve lost 9.4 kilograms which is great. The other day I picked up a 10kg bag of cat litter while shopping and it was bloody heavy! To think that I’ve lost almost that amount in 2 weeks makes me appreciate what a load my joints, back and heart was carting around. And makes me realise how well I’ve done with my weight loss since November 2018. Now I need to keep going to rid myself of another 71 odd kilos to get to my current goal of 80kg.  I also need to get back to my leg exercises and pedal my little mini cycle to strengthen my leg muscles and improve my mobility which also fell by the wayside when I was off plan.

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So now I’m ‘in the zone’ and hopefully can continue.  Thanks again for reading!

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Week 1, take 2.

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So pleased with my weight loss for week 1 of the Optifast re-set challenge.
I had been sticking to the program all week and was somewhat nervous about weighing in, thinking that maybe I wouldn’t lose as much as I hoped because I’d not done any exercise other than running to the toilet frequently thanks to the 2 and a half litres of water I consumed during the day. So when I saw that I’d lost 7.4 kilograms I was over the moon. I know a lot of it is fluid and it won’t be the case next time but it strengthened my resolve and was my reward for being able to resist the biscuits, cake and other foods that are in the house and eaten by my partner.
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It has made me even more determined to continue the way I’m going. The Optifast support group has been fantastic for support and encouragement and I have appreciated all the kind words people have sent my way cheering me up when I was feeling so bad about falling off the wagon and giving me pep talks, good advice and gently giving me a shove and kick up the bum to get me back on track again after 11 weeks of making a pig of myself.
I won’t deny it was all easy. On Wednesday last week my son moved out to his own little flat and I was busy all morning, doing grocery shopping, a trip to K Mart for cat litter, a trip to the chemist for medications and then a trip loaded up with stuff to my sons flat. It would have been so easy to swing by Maccas to grab a bite to eat as I was starving by the time I’d finished all that, but I kept going and waited till I got home before making my coffee shake and thoroughly enjoying it!
 
 
I have to confess that I was truly out of control with my eating since April. I do the shopping by myself as my partner is working and I like to shop during the week, early before the crowds and to get home, unpack it and relax for the rest of the day. What I’d do is buy junk and stash it in the car and hide it in somewhere, out of sight from my partner because I felt ashamed of myself and felt like I was letting him down after all his support. Or I’d buy a pastry or something and eat it in the car park. The wrappers from the chocolate bars and biscuits etc that I ate at home during the day and evenings would be stashed somewhere where I could dispose of it in the rubbish bin underneath other rubbish, again so my partner wouldn’t see them, or I’d take the rubbish with me to the shops and dump it in the bins there.
When he came to bed at night I’d wait till he was sleeping and then furtively reach for my broken up chocolate bars and quietly eat them so that he wouldn’t know. Mind you this was AFTER I’d already consumed a heap of biscuits, chips and chocolate in the couple of hours before that while he was in the lounge room watching TV. So it’s no wonder that I gained 35.5kg in that 11 weeks. I would have regained all the weight I’d lost if I hadn’t pulled myself into line. This is something I will have to confess to my dietician when I see her in a few weeks time. And to my doctor when I see her next. Going to be tough, but I have to be upfront with them both.
I had a bit of a giggle this week. I love pickled onions and the only ones that are Optifast friendly (ie they don’t contain sugar) are in short supply in our local supermarkets. Seems to be a supply issue. I was despairing as I always add a pickled onion to my evening meal. I saw that Coles supermarket had them available and Paul went to get them for me. I asked for 3 jars but he saw that they had 6 on the shelf, the last 6 in the store. So he bought the lot. I wonder what the check out girl thought when he turned up with 6 jars of pickled onions. Maybe she thought he was buying for a pregnant wife who had cravings for pickles, lol.
I’m truly back in the swing of things again now. I look forward to my shakes and vegetables and allowed extra protein.
Another week lays ahead….I’ve got this!
!!26ththSeptblogg